Balanceophile

Pregnancy is a mix of many emotions – it’s beautiful, weird, uncomfortable, clueless. While every pregnancy story is unique, one common aspect in those stories would be mood swings. We all go through hundreds of emotions in a day. While no one expects people to walk on eggshells around a pregnant woman, there are obvious things you do not mention to her. Unfortunately, I encountered a few occasions where people shared their experiences that became the source of my panic attacks. This blog is to address the aspects that would probably make a pregnant woman uncomfortable.

Let’s begin!

Unpleasant Labor stories

I get it! Your intentions come from a good place. But the pregnant woman could already be anxious about labor. Sharing an unpleasant story will only create illustrations to her anxious thoughts, increasing them twofold and causing fear. Every birth story is unique. If you don’t know a pleasant one, you don’t need to say anything unless the lady specifically asks you to share the unpleasant one.

Expectations of another child

Okay, imagine a person who has just been through surgery. Do you ask them, “Buddy, when are you planning for your next surgery? Well, I would suggest going through it by next year so your job will be done?” That’s idiotic, right? As much as giving birth to a new child is beautiful, expecting new moms to do it again immediately without asking if she’s even comfortable having the conversation is absurd. You might have your reasons and justifications, but that’s your choice, like how deciding whether to have another child is the new mother’s choice.

Setting gender expectations

Long gone are the days of setting gender expectations and getting upset over not meeting them. This is not going to help the new mom or the mom-to-be in any way. So, stop assuming that your expectations are going to change the path of her destiny, making your choice the standard of her growing household/family.

Commenting on her body/her child

A body physically goes through a lot of wear and tear to bring a new life into this world. That body is basically fighting to keep both the mother and child alive and healthy. Again, it is unique to each woman. Commenting on their body like “Oh your tummy looks small for this trimester” “Oh, you look so chubby for this phase” or “Oh your child looks very weak” is only going to make them feel shamed when in fact, they must be appreciated for what they are doing. Especially men, before you comment on pregnant women’s bodies, think if you can go through the entire ordeal without making any fuss. And women, if you are commenting on fellow pregnant women, grow up, and be a friend, not a foe.

Complaining about the late reveal

“Well, we heard the news from <someone> and we are disappointed that you didn’t tell us sooner.” Hello! A pregnancy is a personal thing between two partners. Your involvement in the news depends on their choices. Telling the news to you may not help them in any ways so you basically don’t have any right to complain. And if you’re complaining about it, you should already know why they didn’t tell you sooner. 

Commenting on the woman’s choices

Pregnant women hardly get to choose anything in this complete process. It is always “When the time comes, I will decide.” Sometimes, people won’t even have a chance to think through the situation to make a choice. So, before you go ahead and say, “C-section? You got the easy way out!” or “Unmedicated vaginal birth? Why did you go through so much pain?”, I suggest you think.

Conclusion

There are many other comments that pregnant women face during their life changing phase. If you have faced any such situations, do share them.