Balanceophile

Marriage – Some people freak out when they hear this name and some wait for their dream partner to say yes. In both cases, a common thing is to understand that marriage isn’t just a union of two people but a companionship.

When I got married, many of my friends asked my suggestion regarding the topics to be discussed with the prospective partner. So, here is a detailed blog for your assistance.

With no further delay, let’s begin with the list of questions:

• Discuss your hobbies.

Hobbies are the best topic to begin as it is light and familiar. Talk about passion, life goals, interests, etc., and see if that aligns with your thoughts. Hobbies highlight the characteristic traits of a person and help understand their likes and dislikes.

• Discuss general lifestyle choices.

Marriage can withstand when there is a better understanding between partners. That can happen when you talk openly about general lifestyle aspects like managing household chores, expenses, social life, etc. Also, talk about your approach in case of any difference of opinion.

• Discuss your expectations from one another

Some have certain expectations about their partner. Discuss this to understand if your thoughts are complementing each other. This question can give you so many answers and a better idea of whether the discussion needs to proceed.

• Ask about career goals, opinion about work-life balance, etc.

Apart from marriage, career plays a vital role in any household. It is important to understand each other’s work, work-life balance, career goals, financial and learning scope, etc.

• Open up about settling plans or ideas

While some of them have already chalked out their idea of settling and some have rough or no idea. It is important to discuss this so that you can decide if this partner is the right one for you.

With the above questions, you shall find some clarity on how the future looks with this partner. If you don’t feel like proceeding, you can either say no or close the conversation with a proper conclusion, leaving some room for further thinking.

Suppose you feel like continuing the conversation for further clarity, here are some questions:

• Get to know about your prospective partner’s idea of family

You need to be very clear of your parents’ involvement post-wedding. Are you staying with parents or independent? Are there any responsibilities towards siblings, etc.? You will get a rough idea of your future responsibilities towards in-laws through this discussion.

• Discuss future family

Talk about general opinion on kids that can include pets as well. If you are planning to have one, then discuss the future planning on a very high level just to understand if you both can handle it together or not.

• It is important to know about any medical complications or history

Now many people would hesitate to be open about their medical complications, but it is important to understand that hiding it would only cause disruptions in the future. You might be embarrassed to talk about this, but is it wise to compromise another person’s life by keeping a secret? To ease out your job, I would suggest talking about this when you feel comfortable enough during the discussion.

• Talk about your current commitments in life that can affect the marriage

Most families search for a groom or bride when they are fully ready. But the ignored part is whether the guy or girl is really ready? Some will have certain ambitions or commitments to fulfil before putting on their wedding shoes. Discuss and see if things can work out or not.

• Finally, discuss the wedding expenses and expectations

This is the part where most families ignore the two most important people – bride and groom. Families mostly take care of the entire wedding expenses, which might not be on the likes of the younger generation. Talk to each other about how you would like to proceed and share it with your parents so that all are on board with your plan.

No matter the number of questions you ask or days you take to say yes, you would still end up getting plenty of shocks and surprises post marriage. But it is important to be honest and truthful about yourselves as it affects your future.

Do you think any questions got missed or have doubts on above questions? Shoot them in the comments and let us have an open discussion.