We all have lived through something that I would like to call ‘The Generational Conditioning’ which involves a balance between sharing common experiences of our livelihood while developing a unique perspective of life. The shared common experiences have influenced our growth in a significant way to the extent of how our subconscious minds think. A few examples – how many of us are willing to take the leap of faith to do something that we honestly love? How many of us are ready to take a big risk with a vision that the rewards may be equally big? And a very common one – How many of us are engineering graduates with a profession that has nothing to do with our degree?

Indeed, the number of people who are trying to achieve a way of life that they truthfully want is increasing gradually, but most of us think a hundred times before taking that one life-defining leap. All of it stems from a common root:

Our Conditioning Concerning Life

Forced ‘Yes’ to everything that the elders say which resulted in the ‘pleasing people attitude’, opposing forces criticizing every wish that comes from our heart, a general pressure to excel in everything – studies, cultural activities, sports, etc., all bring us close to the black hole where we all live a life that’s far from what we dreamt of. Where does such conditioning begin? Who does that to us? How do we come out of it? Answers to all these questions are in this book called –

The Four Agreements

I am not a big non-fiction book person, and a handful of what I have read, some of it, didn’t see the finish line. However, this book stands out to me. This is the first time I read something that reflected some of my life’s perspectives as a growth hindrance in the right way. This book helped me look at life from a different angle which depicted how I am limiting my growth with my thought process without my knowledge (imagine the depth of the book that indulges you to a point where all you think about is how you can change your life through your thoughts)

How Did I Pick this Book?

Some of us have had an unimpressive childhood which forced us to limit our ‘risk-taking’ or ‘creative’ approach in life. Over the years, people around me including parents, friends, relatives, colleagues, and everyone directly or indirectly influenced my free-spirited nature to fade away. Hence, I developed an impression that life is far from beautiful, it’s more of a path that you just need to take to move on. Until one day, my husband recommended reading this book to me.

How Did This Book Help Me?

If I have to say in one line – Every other paragraph that I read in this book felt like it was written to address my blockers specifically.

At one point, I even wondered how the author knew to weave words that connected thoughts in my head perfectly like a puzzle and I am not exaggerating. The book made me revisit those instances that led me closer to the black hole of life. It made me rethink how to carve a path for myself to walk against that black hole and enter a new realm of life where my soul lives. Here are some highlights of the book to help you understand my perspective:

“Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive”

“When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself”

“Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about “me”’

“Humans are addicted to suffering at different levels and to different degrees, and we support each other in maintaining these addictions”

“It is very interesting how the human mind works. We have the need to justify everything, to explain and understand everything, in order to feel safe.”

“If others change, it’s because they want to change, not because you can change them”

“All human problems would be resolved if we could just have good, clear communication”

If I can, I shall go on with many such lines that made me fall in love with this book. After all, every human is a free-spirited being, and if there’s only one thing to let go of – all the thoughts that keep you away from being the real ‘You’. Let your true self travel and see how beautiful the journey looks like. If you have read this book, do share how you felt after reading it. If you have any similar recommendations, kindly share them.